Always show up as your full authentic self. There will be people who can’t handle everything that you are. But, that’s their issue. As the saying goes, everything ain’t for everybody. #mondaymotivation #beyourauthenticself #dontchangeforanyone #figureoutyourlifepod
Focus on who you are, and not who you will be! 🖤 Be the best you now, and you will be the best you in the future.
#Mondaymotivation
Fear and failure are parts of life. They are often intertwined. And, they feed into each other. But, fear and failure can’t be avoided. And, they shouldn’t be.
We need to experience both fear and failure so we can learn from our actions and grow. Fear helps us determine the boundaries of our comfort zone, and refusing to feel the fear prevents us from taking risks, learning new things, and moving forward. It prevents us from failing.
But, we need to fail. Failure helps us grow by showing us whether or not what we’re doing is working. It forces us to stop and reflect, change perspectives, redirect energies, try new strategies, develop new skills, and become better. To use what we have learned and eventually succeed.
If you’ve been enjoying the Figure Out Your Life podcast, I would love it if you left a rating and review on iTunes. It really helps more people discover us on Apple Podcasts. Here are 5 simple steps to leave an Apple Podcast review from your mobile device:
Picture taken after I successfully presented and defended my doctoral dissertation. With my brother Keion, mother Aunt Florisca, and father. October 27, 2014. Department of Sociology, The Graduate Center-CUNY, New York, NY.
For those interested in my research, here is video from my dissertation defense on Monday, October 27, 2014. My dissertation is titled "On the Midnight Train to Georgia: Afro-Caribbeans and the New Great Migration to Atlanta."
swinging into the summer
“Cruisin’ is made for love
I love it when we’re Cruisin’ together”
In June, I took my 11th Caribbean cruise (and my 10th cruise with Carnival Cruise Line) with my family. Since we first set sail in 2008, my mummy, brother Keion, and I have made cruising an annual family vacation; and, all together we have visited 20 different islands and countries in the Caribbean Sea.
This year we sailed for 7 days on the Carnival Conquest ship from Miami to Grand Cayman (Cayman Islands), Roatan Island (Honduras), Belize City (Belize), and Cozumel (Mexico). This cruise was our first repeat. We took the same cruise in 2011; however, our experience at each destination was completely different.
This time around we tried new things and had new adventures as a family. My brother rode a jet ski for the first time on Grand Cayman’s blue-tiful Seven Mile Beach (while my mother and I watched safely from the shore). We toured Roatan Island and learned about the history and culture of the Garifuna people, who are the descendants of afro-indigeneous peoples from the Caribbean island of St. Vincent who were exiled to Honduras in the 18th century, went cave-tubing in the Belizean rainforest, and visited the Ancient City of Tulum in Mexico and learned about the Mayan civilization that once lived there.
I could go on and on about my fun family cruise vacation, but I would rather show you rather than tell you.
eating mangoes in Roatan
My dinner on the first Formal Night
From the Dining Room menu
My favorite dessert on the cruise
My second favorite dessert on the cruise
with my mummy in Grand Cayman
Local beer by Cayman Island Brewery
a locally made Garifuna snack
local Honduran beer
at The Buccaneer French Harbour Roatan
at The Buccaneer French Harbour Roatan
“The Beer of Belize”
all smiles on Seven mile beach
cave tubing in belize
Ancient City of Tulum
Have you ever been on a cruise?
I love cruises. My family and I started cruising in 2009, and since then we have been going every year. We started out with a short 3-day trip to the Bahamas from Miami on Norwegian Cruise Line and moved on to longer cruises on Carnival Cruise Line. To date, our longest cruise to date was a 8-day cruise to Turks & Caicos, Dominican Republic, Curacao, and Aruba from Miami on Carnival.
Now, as of this month, we have taken our 11th cruise (10th with Carnival) and are officially OG Cruisers!!! To commemorate this travel milestone, I have created 7 tips for those who are planning to take their first cruise or who are curious about cruising as a travel option.
It has been over a month since I last posted. Ugh! Where has the time gone?
I have been meaning to get back to you all, but your girl Toya T has been busy. The past month I have been traveling (Charlotte, NC, Washington, D.C., New York City, and now Southern California with a short stay in Las Vegas ), searching for and applying to jobs, connecting with friends, partying, crying and being fully in my feelings, taking long walks, and trying to figure out my life (of course!).
During this time, I realized one major thing: I am ready to move. Specifically, I am ready for things in my professional and romantic lives to move in new, better, and more fulfilling directions. I love my job as a college professor. Working with, mentoring, and teaching students is my passion. It energizes me and has helped me grow and learn more about myself and the world.
However, what I do not love is the lack of upward mobility I have experienced in my career. I currently teach two courses a semester at a state university part-time, which means I am working without benefits or job security. For the past two years, I have been applying for positions in academic advising and student support, and I have gotten very few calls for interviews and no job offers. It has been hard to deal with because of the amount of time and effort and money I spent on my education. Excuse me as I toot my own horn here. I am a black woman with a PhD. I am part of the less than 1% of people in the world to hold this degree. Yet, despite my educational pedigree, I do not have a JOBB---extra 'b' for benefits, that is to say, retirement, health, dental, paid leave/vacation, and job satisfaction.
It is hard pill to swallow because I have degrees and not much to show for it besides the degrees. I am like the character on Kanye West's first album College Dropout who was homeless with only his multiple degrees to keep him warm. Okay...I may be exaggerating a bit. I am not homeless. I am fortunate to have two loving parents who have been able to help me financially by feeding me and letting me live in their home rent free, among other things, that allow me to pay my bills (including my 100k student loans), build good credit, travel, look cute, and apply to jobs that I want (and not those that just pay the bills). I am far from sleeping on the streets covered in my diplomas. But, I feel...stuck, blocked, unsatisfied, frustrated, unfulfilled.
Okay, so now what? How do I change this and get things in my life moving in new, fulfilling, and purposeful directions?
By changing my mindset to focus daily on what I want and how I want these changes to happen, and not on what I do not have or have not done.
I may feel that my life is stagnant now, but I can change that. I can live the life I want.
To manifest these changes in my life, I am going to set monthly intentions, and I am going to keep a log of my experiences and feelings here on Figure Out Your Life Blog for a year, so you all can follow my progression of change. The beginning of the month, or the start of a new moon cycle, is a great time to set new intentions or desires, since it takes 30 to 40 days to create a new habit or change a behavior.
If you want to join me on this journey, and you are also ready to make changes in your life, here are few things you need to know about setting monthly intentions:
First, when making intentions, you must make definitive statements. Not wishes, asks, or wants because you want the universe to know you intend, and not wish or want, for these things to happen in your life.
Second, you must state you intentions in the present tense. For example, "I am worthy of love" or "I attract a romantic relationship that fulfills me" (I used both of these statements in my romantic intentions for the month).
Third, you must TRUST these things WILL happen.
Fourth, if you feel blocked or deterred, you must take note of what is blocking you and confront it. Spend a little bit of time and energy dealing with this issue. What are the blocks in your life? How do they make you feel? What would removing these blocks do for you? Then, you must spend the majority of your time and energy on visualizing what is going to keep you aligned, attuned, and inspired.
I am ready to live my best life. Are you?
"We must remind ourselves that we are seeing only a small piece of the puzzle--that there is a whole picture, and we all fit in." -- SQuire Rushnell, When God Winks: How The Power of Coincidence Guides Your Life
Black Business Trend Alert: Pins!!!
Those who know know me, know that I love accessories. Earrings, bags, shoes, bracelets, head bands. I love them all. And now, I love pins.
I first noticed the pin trend several months ago on Instagram (where I discover most of my favorite black businesses). With pins featuring a variety of afrocentric messages (e.g., "black girl magic" and "black & proud") and images (e.g., Michelle Obama and afro-haired women), I had to get some.
The first pin I bought was a
"She's Gotta Have It" brooch (priced at $25) by Rachel Stewart Jewelry
. This solid wood brooch is inspired by the Spike Lee movie of the same name and is F-L-Y. Every time I wear it, I receive tons of compliments about its beauty and questions about where I bought it.
At work wearing my "She's Gotta To Have It" brooch and "Still I Rise" pin.
The past two months I have gone pin crazy. First, I bought a
"Still I Rise" lapel pin (priced at $10) by Radical Dreams
to represent my love for the famous Maya Angelou poem, and then two weeks later, I bought their
kneeling "Colin Kaepernick" lapel pin (priced at $8)
to show my support for the former NFL player and his fight against racial injustice and police brutality against black people in America. I have worn these pins several times this past month to keep me motivated on the days that I feel weary and frustrated with the things happening in this post-Obama world. Most recently, I purchased an
"I'm Judging You" pin (priced at $14) by Pin Vibes LA
. This metal pin is part of a special collection celebrating the release of
I'm Judging You: A Do Better Manual
by Luvvie Ajayi aka
. I love to wear this pin to work (use your imagination on why 😬).
Judgey but motivational with my "I'm Judging You" and "Still I Rise" pins.
I like to make statements with my clothes and accessories. And, anything that allows me to show my love for black culture and black people and be fashionable is a must-have for me. I absolutely LOVE the fact that "black"pins allow me to express my pride, my beliefs, and my mood without having to say a word.
They are great for work and play. You can wear one pin, or a bunch of them, anywhere. Pin them to your jackets, shirts, bags, or hats.
Make a statement with your accessories and check out these black pin makers today.
Hello There!
I’m Toya T—a Black Woman PhD, podcast host, and traveler. I love sharing pieces of my life and all of the tips, tricks, and lessons I have learned from my experiences. Hopefully my blog will help you on your journey to figuring out how to live your best life.
@LATOYAT on Instagram
Welcome to Figure Out Your Life Blog where I share everything what I have learned thus far about life. Hope you’ll come back again. Enjoy!
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