Learning to Let Go of "Them" and Get the Love and Happiness I Deserve

Sometimes you gotta let people go: fake friends, toxic folks, energy-sucks,  drama-full family members, fuck boys, former loves, friends with (few) benefits.

Sometimes you gotta let things go: phone numbers of former love interests, clothes that haven't fit in 3+ years, overstretched hair elastics, broken electronics, worn out shoes, not safe for work or grandma's eyes sexy pictures of your former bae.

Sometimes you gotta let energies go: long-held hurts, emotional scars, old ideas, grudges, bad habits, doubts, insecurities, drama.

As much as I have grown personally and professionally this past year of my life, I have realized that I still have a lot of things that I need to figure out. One of the things I need to figure out in 2017 is how to let go of people who cause me nothing but unnecessary stress and heartache and whose presence in my life do not benefit me or give me the love and appreciation I want and need.

But I have a hard time letting go of the select people that I let into my heart. I am very protective of my heart and my personal space, so when I let people in, I hold onto them fiercely. I love hard. Even when these people I love show me how easily they have let me go, I hold on. I continue to care. I check in. I wish happy birthdays. I extend congratulations and well wishes. And, I rarely get anything back but hurt feelings.

To deal with my "letting go" problem, I have decided that I need a detox---a life detox.

There are some people whose phone numbers I delete and re-add and then delete again that I need to  keep deleted. Some Facebook friends I unfriend and re-friend that I need to unfriend and keep it that way. 

LET. THEM. GO....Close my eyes and inhale.... and then exhale them all out. 

In order to Grow. to Evolve. to Change. to Heal. to be Happy. to be Sane. to be Healthy.

How to Deal with Judgmental Family Members During the Holidays

In this episode of "The Read,"Crissle gave one of the dopest reads I have heard this year. Because she said it so well, I am going to use her words unfiltered to give a special message to some of my friends and my family for this holiday and for the new year (note: if you feel like I am talking to you, I probably am. Take note so you don't get the wrong end of my holiday cheer this year. Or, disown me, unfriend, delete my birthday, and keep my name out of your mouth).

Here is an excerpt of Crissle's read for family members that may want to open their mouth to make you feel small or less than because they have a problem with how you live your life:

"Do not let anybody start shit with you this year. A lot of us are encouraged to keep quiet, be nice, and just get along or don't say nothing, or respect elders--that's a big one. Or don't rock the damn boat. And don't be like this on Christmas and don't make it awkward. No, fuck them. Niggas shouldn't make you feel awkward. It's not your fault for retaliating. It's they fault for having the nerve to say something to you in the first fucking place. It's not your fault. You not wrong. You should not be admonished for say 'hey fuck you, I'm a grown ass adult and I'm going to do whatever I want. I like my body. I like my hair. I like my life. And you don't get to tell me that it needs to be any different.' Fuck them niggas. Don't let your uncle, aunty, grandma, niece, nephew, play cousin, don't let nobody try you this year. Cuss them niggas out and let them know you are not the one."

(The full episode for your listening pleasure)

Dealing With A Frustrating Day That Develops Into a Frustrating Week

Have you ever had a week that you wish you could skip? Just erase it from existence. For me, that week is this one. My professional frustration and personal relationships apparently had a secret meeting and decided that they were going to fuck with me this week, starting with what was supposed to be a relaxing and enjoyable Sunday that turned into a two hour sob and hid under the covers fest to a long frustrating Monday that refused to let me go home and rest to an emotionally charged and hair pulling Tuesday that is barely over. (I can't wait to see what Wednesday brings). 

With all of that said, I am pushing through and looking forward to bright spots that I know are coming later this week (i.e., getting to go backstage at Monica's Code Red concert on Sunday and laying on a Florida beach next Wednesday). What I am going through this week is all part of life. Life is full of ups and downs. I cannot control the feelings or actions of others. I cannot will good things to happen. I cannot make people stop hurting their own family members in the name of loyalty and family. 

What I can do is allow my anger, hurt, and frustrations their due time to work themselves out (side note: if you have seen the Pixar movie Inside Out, then you know that you need all of these emotions to function "normally.") Cry if I need to cry. Sigh if I need to sigh. Curse if I need to curse.  Let those emotions have their minute, hour, day, week, or month (but not year....not again). 

When all that is said and done, and I have gotten everything out, then I must get myself together and move forward.